1 00:00:30,570 --> 00:00:31,370 -Thank you. 2 00:01:04,740 --> 00:01:06,230 [KNOCKING] 3 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:11,710 [KNOCKING] 4 00:01:18,320 --> 00:01:20,670 -Good morning, Your Majesty. 5 00:01:20,670 --> 00:01:24,800 -Oh, get a gun and shoot that bloody piper, would you? 6 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:25,770 -Right away, sir. 7 00:01:33,050 --> 00:01:33,970 Your juice, Mrs. Hill. 8 00:01:36,470 --> 00:01:37,420 Thank you, Neil. 9 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:45,060 REPORTER (ON TV): Major Tim Stone's 10 00:01:45,060 --> 00:01:47,730 body was flown back home today. 11 00:01:47,730 --> 00:01:51,890 Stone, a GP by profession, had been called into active service 12 00:01:51,890 --> 00:01:54,060 as a member of the territory army. 13 00:01:54,060 --> 00:01:54,960 He died whilst-- 14 00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:56,760 -Your mobile phones for today, sir. 15 00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:58,320 Pay as you go. 16 00:01:58,320 --> 00:01:59,670 The blue one is for Mrs. Hill. 17 00:01:59,670 --> 00:02:01,360 -You're a star. 18 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:03,270 -I'll be ready to leave in 15, Neil. 19 00:02:03,270 --> 00:02:04,710 Early start this morning. 20 00:02:04,710 --> 00:02:07,030 My boss is having a meeting at the palace. 21 00:02:07,030 --> 00:02:08,150 -Indeed, ma'am. 22 00:02:08,150 --> 00:02:10,360 -Don't you love your weekly meeting with the PM, hm? 23 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:12,610 REPORTER (ON TV): His wife, Mary, and their children-- 24 00:02:12,610 --> 00:02:14,020 -I think this woman wrote to me. 25 00:02:14,020 --> 00:02:14,820 MRS. HILL: Did she? 26 00:02:14,820 --> 00:02:15,620 -Yeah. 27 00:02:15,620 --> 00:02:16,440 About defense cuts. 28 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:20,370 God. when you actually see it, the coffin and the kids. 29 00:02:20,370 --> 00:02:22,020 What? 30 00:02:22,020 --> 00:02:23,720 -It's not your problem, Rich. 31 00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:26,060 -Who says? 32 00:02:26,060 --> 00:02:28,580 -Your subjects say. 33 00:02:28,580 --> 00:02:29,500 It's not your problem. 34 00:02:29,500 --> 00:02:31,380 It's my boss' problem. 35 00:02:31,380 --> 00:02:33,000 -She asked for my help. 36 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:33,800 -And? 37 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:34,600 -And. 38 00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:39,340 And I don't know. 39 00:02:39,340 --> 00:02:40,140 -Exactly. 40 00:02:40,140 --> 00:02:42,750 You don't know. 41 00:02:42,750 --> 00:02:47,160 So don't tax that tiny little inbred brain of yours. 42 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:51,210 Just be a good king, and lie back, 43 00:02:51,210 --> 00:02:52,300 and forget about politics. 44 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:08,470 -It's not too late, sir. 45 00:03:08,470 --> 00:03:10,050 We can still go back. 46 00:03:10,050 --> 00:03:10,850 -Just drive, Ray. 47 00:03:50,290 --> 00:03:53,260 [THEME MUSIC] 48 00:04:21,010 --> 00:04:22,920 -So we go next door, yeah? 49 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:24,920 And, uh, Rob's still out of it, yeah? 50 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:25,720 Still on the floor. 51 00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:26,790 -That guy's insane. 52 00:04:26,790 --> 00:04:29,520 -Except we can't tell why he looks so odd. 53 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:31,680 And then we get it. 54 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:34,200 Jimmy P. shaved his bloody eyebrows off. 55 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:35,000 -No way. 56 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:35,910 -Both of them. 57 00:04:35,910 --> 00:04:37,990 -I mean, he looks like something out of Star Trek. 58 00:04:37,990 --> 00:04:40,020 And then this is the classic, yeah? 59 00:04:40,020 --> 00:04:43,010 Turns out it's his passing out parade Saturday 60 00:04:43,010 --> 00:04:47,460 and he's got to have eyebrow wigs made. 61 00:04:47,460 --> 00:04:48,770 I'm serious. 62 00:04:48,770 --> 00:04:49,900 Eyebrow wigs. 63 00:04:49,900 --> 00:04:50,820 -Oh, mate. 64 00:04:50,820 --> 00:04:51,770 -Your Majesty. 65 00:04:51,770 --> 00:04:54,180 -Mitch, I wish you'd been there. You would've pissed yourself. 66 00:04:54,180 --> 00:04:54,980 I swear. 67 00:04:54,980 --> 00:04:56,100 -That's awesome. 68 00:04:56,100 --> 00:04:59,190 -I have your post, sir. 69 00:04:59,190 --> 00:04:59,990 -Thanks, Abigail. 70 00:04:59,990 --> 00:05:01,690 Look, I've gotta do this. 71 00:05:01,690 --> 00:05:03,320 -I'm gone. 72 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:04,400 -What have you got today? 73 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:06,940 -Uh, pissed lunch with sexy birds, 74 00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:08,840 spurious visit to Silverston, then back 75 00:05:08,840 --> 00:05:10,210 to London for clubbing 'til 3:00. 76 00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:11,250 -Do you ever do any work? 77 00:05:11,250 --> 00:05:12,230 -I'm a playboy prince. 78 00:05:12,230 --> 00:05:13,170 That is work. 79 00:05:13,170 --> 00:05:14,160 You? -Oh, you know. 80 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:14,960 The usual. 81 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:16,760 Waving and smiling, waving and smiling. 82 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:17,560 -Laters. 83 00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:18,360 -Yeah. 84 00:05:22,220 --> 00:05:23,990 -The only people who know who the woman is 85 00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,390 are his valet and his PPO. 86 00:05:25,390 --> 00:05:27,350 Neither are gonna betray that confidence to us. 87 00:05:27,350 --> 00:05:27,690 -No. 88 00:05:27,690 --> 00:05:28,310 You're right. 89 00:05:28,310 --> 00:05:29,200 Of course. 90 00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:30,780 -Abigail might pick up on stuff, but I 91 00:05:30,780 --> 00:05:31,960 mean, why would she tell me? 92 00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:33,210 She's not stupid. 93 00:05:33,210 --> 00:05:34,010 -No. 94 00:05:34,010 --> 00:05:34,810 She's great. 95 00:05:34,810 --> 00:05:35,810 Isn't she? 96 00:05:35,810 --> 00:05:36,610 -Ma'am? 97 00:05:36,610 --> 00:05:37,590 -She's great. 98 00:05:37,590 --> 00:05:40,360 I've seen you two laughing and joking. 99 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:41,550 You make a wonderful couple. 100 00:05:45,340 --> 00:05:48,860 -Ma'am, are you suggesting-- Do you 101 00:05:48,860 --> 00:05:50,370 want me to get Abigail into bed? 102 00:05:50,370 --> 00:05:52,270 -Did I say that? 103 00:05:52,270 --> 00:05:53,930 I didn't say that. 104 00:05:53,930 --> 00:05:57,240 You do find her attractive, though, Major Brooks. 105 00:05:57,240 --> 00:05:58,340 -Well, yes. 106 00:05:58,340 --> 00:06:00,560 -Personally, I detest interstaff relationships. 107 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:01,790 There's always a danger one might say 108 00:06:01,790 --> 00:06:03,250 something to a lover one shouldn't. 109 00:06:03,250 --> 00:06:07,840 But I suppose sometimes-- sometimes 110 00:06:07,840 --> 00:06:09,420 one just can't help oneself. 111 00:06:23,850 --> 00:06:25,720 -This way, Mrs. Hill. 112 00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:28,510 -The widow of an officer, and he died in-- 113 00:06:28,510 --> 00:06:29,450 [KNOCKING] 114 00:06:33,690 --> 00:06:35,970 -I've written your letter of condolence to Mrs. Stone, 115 00:06:35,970 --> 00:06:37,630 you asked for, sir. 116 00:06:37,630 --> 00:06:40,540 -Uh, yeah, just stick it on there. 117 00:06:40,540 --> 00:06:42,700 -And the PM is on his way up. 118 00:06:42,700 --> 00:06:43,620 -Yeah, great. 119 00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:44,420 Can't wait. 120 00:06:44,420 --> 00:06:46,090 Me and Teddy cracking jokes all morning. 121 00:06:46,090 --> 00:06:47,470 Hilarious. 122 00:06:47,470 --> 00:06:49,790 -I imagine him to be a very funny man, sir. 123 00:06:49,790 --> 00:06:50,590 -Yeah. 124 00:06:50,590 --> 00:06:53,000 Beneath the ice cold facade, he's a comedy genius. 125 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:53,800 Go on. 126 00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:54,260 Bugger off. 127 00:06:54,260 --> 00:06:55,340 -Buggering right off, sir. 128 00:07:03,250 --> 00:07:05,520 -Aren't you going to do anything, sir? 129 00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:07,270 -What's there to do? 130 00:07:07,270 --> 00:07:09,880 Just, it'll all blow over, Ray. 131 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:11,060 I promise you. 132 00:07:11,060 --> 00:07:14,950 Just trust me on this one. 133 00:07:14,950 --> 00:07:18,150 -My leaving due, sir, I'm afraid I wouldn't be happy going ahead 134 00:07:18,150 --> 00:07:20,970 with it under the circumstances. 135 00:07:20,970 --> 00:07:21,770 -What? 136 00:07:21,770 --> 00:07:22,580 -I'm sorry, sir. 137 00:07:22,580 --> 00:07:23,380 -Oh come on. 138 00:07:23,380 --> 00:07:24,470 You're the palace press secretary. 139 00:07:24,470 --> 00:07:25,930 You must have some idea who she is. 140 00:07:25,930 --> 00:07:26,730 -Miranda. 141 00:07:26,730 --> 00:07:28,470 If you knew how much he pottered about, 142 00:07:28,470 --> 00:07:30,150 you'd know why I'm not interested. 143 00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:32,240 He'll be on the next one tomorrow. 144 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:33,520 -Oh, right. 145 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:36,120 No, it's just I kind of got the sense 146 00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:38,600 that this one was a bit more serious. 147 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:40,210 -Well, I'm sure she thinks she is. 148 00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:42,520 They all do. 149 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:43,750 You're gonna love this. 150 00:07:43,750 --> 00:07:45,650 There was this one bird who-- 151 00:07:45,650 --> 00:07:47,130 [KNOCKING] 152 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:53,840 -Your Majesty. 153 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:54,640 Prime Minister. 154 00:08:00,850 --> 00:08:01,940 -Prime Minister. 155 00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:02,840 -Your Majesty. 156 00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:03,680 -Do come on through. 157 00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:05,830 Have a seat. 158 00:08:05,830 --> 00:08:06,630 GEORGE: All right. 159 00:08:06,630 --> 00:08:08,500 All right, Ray. 160 00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:10,350 Stop going on. 161 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:17,760 Peter. 162 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:21,400 Um, I mean, Superintendent. 163 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:24,810 Have you got five, please. 164 00:08:24,810 --> 00:08:25,610 -Of course, sir. 165 00:08:35,990 --> 00:08:37,670 -Uh, so, uh the point of these meetings, 166 00:08:37,670 --> 00:08:42,330 obviously, is for me to, uh-- Well, 167 00:08:42,330 --> 00:08:44,970 I'm meant to listen, advise, and counsel. 168 00:08:44,970 --> 00:08:48,200 -Well, I find them invaluable. 169 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:51,770 -Well, I received a letter from the widow of a-- of an officer, 170 00:08:51,770 --> 00:08:54,480 Major Tim Stone, who died in active service. 171 00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:58,120 And basically, well, he died. 172 00:08:58,120 --> 00:08:59,580 Well, he died in agony because he'd 173 00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:03,830 given the last of his morphine to another officer. 174 00:09:03,830 --> 00:09:06,110 It took him 10 hours to die with no pain relief. 175 00:09:06,110 --> 00:09:10,910 Anyway, I was just wondering, in my role, advice, and counsel, 176 00:09:10,910 --> 00:09:13,640 and all that, I wondered if we could just 177 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:16,010 have a quick chat about the defense cuts. 178 00:09:16,010 --> 00:09:18,900 [MUFFLED SPEAKING] 179 00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:28,840 -Course, after the baroness was the .com girl, 180 00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:33,350 whose dad set up, um, what's it-- Anyway. 181 00:09:33,350 --> 00:09:36,830 She was at least 20 stone and I heard him tell George 182 00:09:36,830 --> 00:09:38,890 that apparently she was like a bouncy castle. 183 00:09:55,410 --> 00:09:58,370 -I think I might have killed someone. 184 00:09:58,370 --> 00:10:01,730 I mean, I absolutely wasn't pissed or anything. 185 00:10:01,730 --> 00:10:05,240 And I don't know, maybe I-- I took the bend, um, a bit 186 00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:10,700 too quickly, and as I straightened up, 187 00:10:10,700 --> 00:10:13,260 well, there was something by the side of the road 188 00:10:13,260 --> 00:10:18,190 and, um, well, I hit it. 189 00:10:18,190 --> 00:10:19,970 I mean, not full on or anything. 190 00:10:19,970 --> 00:10:24,130 I-- I just, um, uh, clipped it a bit. 191 00:10:24,130 --> 00:10:27,740 But I-- I definitely hit something. 192 00:10:27,740 --> 00:10:28,540 -Something? 193 00:10:28,540 --> 00:10:30,990 -Thing is, Pete, it-- it was dark. 194 00:10:30,990 --> 00:10:31,980 It was raining. 195 00:10:31,980 --> 00:10:33,600 It-- It was really difficult to see. 196 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:34,300 -OK, hang on. Hang on. 197 00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:35,810 What did you find, sir? 198 00:10:35,810 --> 00:10:38,440 When you got out and looked, what did you find? 199 00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:43,640 -Um, you see, um, Ray was convinced that it was deer. 200 00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:45,590 I mean, I wanted to-- to get out. 201 00:10:45,590 --> 00:10:48,310 I-- I-- I-- I wanted to get out and look, 202 00:10:48,310 --> 00:10:51,670 but-- but Ray said that there was really no need to get out. 203 00:11:04,780 --> 00:11:05,580 -OK, sir. 204 00:11:05,580 --> 00:11:07,530 I'm gonna see what I can find out. 205 00:11:07,530 --> 00:11:09,240 See if I can confirm what you may 206 00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:11,300 or may not have hit last night. 207 00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:13,520 Until I do, you will talk to no one about this. 208 00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:15,510 Not your sisters, not Queen Charlotte, 209 00:11:15,510 --> 00:11:18,430 and most certainly not the king. 210 00:11:18,430 --> 00:11:19,850 Is that clear. 211 00:11:19,850 --> 00:11:21,460 Sir? 212 00:11:21,460 --> 00:11:22,340 -It's crystal. 213 00:11:24,820 --> 00:11:25,620 -Good. 214 00:11:29,370 --> 00:11:33,250 -So one can't really call them defense cuts, because the RAMC 215 00:11:33,250 --> 00:11:35,620 have actually benefited by an increased funding 216 00:11:35,620 --> 00:11:39,890 of-- of over 3% as a direct result of our re-allocations. 217 00:11:39,890 --> 00:11:40,690 -Right. 218 00:11:40,690 --> 00:11:43,280 -But, as I say, it's all in the white paper report. 219 00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:46,410 And I know it's only 1,000 pages or so, 220 00:11:46,410 --> 00:11:49,340 but you do still get a sense of the detail 221 00:11:49,340 --> 00:11:50,990 of what we're trying to do. 222 00:11:50,990 --> 00:11:54,440 So read that and then, uh, next week maybe we 223 00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:56,440 could have a proper discussion? 224 00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:57,240 -Yeah. 225 00:11:57,240 --> 00:12:00,540 I'm sure the detail is very important, of course. 226 00:12:00,540 --> 00:12:01,850 It's just a man died, Teddy. 227 00:12:01,850 --> 00:12:03,470 A good man, because he gave another man 228 00:12:03,470 --> 00:12:05,740 the last of his medical supplies. 229 00:12:05,740 --> 00:12:10,500 And I suppose that's the human cost. 230 00:12:10,500 --> 00:12:12,320 Isn't it? 231 00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:13,700 -Indeed, sir. 232 00:12:18,540 --> 00:12:19,340 So. 233 00:12:19,340 --> 00:12:21,890 You looking forward to the royal variety show next Thursday? 234 00:12:25,290 --> 00:12:27,390 Well, he's got balls, I'll give him that. 235 00:12:27,390 --> 00:12:28,830 But I think he got the message. 236 00:12:28,830 --> 00:12:31,270 -Did he have anything interesting to say? 237 00:12:31,270 --> 00:12:32,850 PRIME MINISTER: Ish. 238 00:12:32,850 --> 00:12:33,650 MIRANDA: OK. 239 00:12:48,030 --> 00:12:50,020 -Dear Mrs. Stone, I'm very sorry-- 240 00:13:24,670 --> 00:13:25,660 -Oh god. 241 00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:41,800 -So. 242 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:42,680 I've heard his story. 243 00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:44,380 Now I want to hear yours. 244 00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:51,480 -Bored. 245 00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:53,100 -Very. 246 00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:54,260 -Dig. 247 00:13:54,260 --> 00:13:55,060 -Ma'am? 248 00:13:59,580 --> 00:14:00,870 -I'll be honest with you, boss. 249 00:14:00,870 --> 00:14:02,860 I had my eyes closed. 250 00:14:02,860 --> 00:14:08,890 I wasn't asleep, so I heard it, but I didn't see it. 251 00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:14,040 He pulled up, I looked at him, asked him what it was. 252 00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:15,200 He was as white as a sheep. 253 00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:16,170 He was babbling. 254 00:14:16,170 --> 00:14:19,240 Not making much sense. 255 00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:24,320 So I went to open the door, and he just lost it. 256 00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:27,210 Started screaming at me to stay put. 257 00:14:27,210 --> 00:14:32,690 And for a second, I'll admit it, I did hesitate. 258 00:14:32,690 --> 00:14:36,800 Then he just suddenly put his foot down. 259 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:39,010 I was shouting at him to stop, but he wouldn't, Pete. 260 00:14:39,010 --> 00:14:40,560 He just wouldn't. 261 00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:42,270 But short of grabbing the wheel-- 262 00:14:42,270 --> 00:14:45,370 I think we were five miles down the road, then 10. 263 00:14:48,140 --> 00:14:49,530 Then he asked me to drive. 264 00:14:49,530 --> 00:14:52,510 -I'll need your exact route. 265 00:14:52,510 --> 00:14:54,130 Have you told anyone about this? 266 00:14:54,130 --> 00:14:55,160 -No one. 267 00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:56,720 -Keep it that way. 268 00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:01,140 -Coming, sir. 269 00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:09,860 -Neil. 270 00:15:09,860 --> 00:15:12,350 I want this hand delivered, please. 271 00:15:12,350 --> 00:15:14,640 RUBY: So me and Vinnie are on the look out for anything 272 00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:15,440 we can find. 273 00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:18,540 -Aw, man that is gross. 274 00:15:18,540 --> 00:15:19,890 -It's genius. 275 00:15:19,890 --> 00:15:21,410 -So what have you got so far? 276 00:15:21,410 --> 00:15:26,430 -Some of Isabel's hair, a plaster with George's blood 277 00:15:26,430 --> 00:15:30,330 on it, and some used cotton buds of Eleanor. 278 00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:31,460 -Ugh. 279 00:15:31,460 --> 00:15:34,650 And you seriously think people will offer you money for them? 280 00:15:34,650 --> 00:15:36,040 -People are weird. 281 00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:37,750 -In the middle ages, people used to think 282 00:15:37,750 --> 00:15:39,880 a touch of the monarch's hand could cure scruffian. 283 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:42,710 -Yeah, that would be because they were very, very stupid. 284 00:15:42,710 --> 00:15:43,510 -What? 285 00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:44,860 You think we're any smarter now? 286 00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:46,110 We still have our little gods. 287 00:15:46,110 --> 00:15:47,110 -I don't! 288 00:15:47,110 --> 00:15:48,440 -Well, there are plenty that do. 289 00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:51,020 They still stand out there, waiting 290 00:15:51,020 --> 00:15:53,380 to shake little Dicky's hand. 291 00:15:53,380 --> 00:15:55,750 Touch the hem of his garment. 292 00:15:55,750 --> 00:15:57,420 They want a bit of the magic to rub off. 293 00:15:57,420 --> 00:15:59,380 So to have their own little bit of them. 294 00:15:59,380 --> 00:16:00,570 All five of them. 295 00:16:03,660 --> 00:16:07,150 Well, gold, I suppose. 296 00:16:07,150 --> 00:16:11,790 -You're vile, the pair of you. 297 00:16:11,790 --> 00:16:12,780 -You seen [INAUDIBLE]? 298 00:16:12,780 --> 00:16:14,280 -Yeah. 299 00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:15,950 I got Queen Charlotte's own hair. 300 00:16:15,950 --> 00:16:18,440 -Oh yeah! 301 00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:19,240 -Simon. 302 00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:20,270 Don't get tricky. 303 00:16:20,270 --> 00:16:22,730 If you guys don't wanna do it, then we'll do it on our own. 304 00:16:22,730 --> 00:16:23,880 -Eleanor's done the Service of Remembrance 305 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:25,010 for the last five years. 306 00:16:25,010 --> 00:16:25,880 -Yeah, that was then. 307 00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:26,950 This is now. 308 00:16:26,950 --> 00:16:28,780 Seriously, if the king talks to [INAUDIBLE], 309 00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:30,570 then Eleanor has to do the dreary colonel. 310 00:16:30,570 --> 00:16:32,930 -Oh, but he has such bad breath. 311 00:16:32,930 --> 00:16:34,600 (LISP) Spits when he talks. 312 00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:36,570 -Fine, then. 313 00:16:36,570 --> 00:16:37,370 -OK. 314 00:16:37,370 --> 00:16:37,680 OK. 315 00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:38,800 Fine, fine. 316 00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:41,230 Fine. 317 00:16:41,230 --> 00:16:43,530 God, I love a dominant woman. 318 00:16:43,530 --> 00:16:47,240 -I have never been so insulted in all my life. 319 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:48,740 -So does he, by all accounts. 320 00:16:48,740 --> 00:16:50,570 The king. 321 00:16:50,570 --> 00:16:52,200 She's on top, so I heard. 322 00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:54,750 Our, uh, mystery woman. 323 00:16:54,750 --> 00:16:56,690 -So crass of her. 324 00:16:56,690 --> 00:16:58,130 -You love it. 325 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,830 -All right, Ray. 326 00:17:03,830 --> 00:17:05,600 -Hello, Abigail. 327 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:08,080 -Just a few more days to go, and then you're a free man. 328 00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:08,880 Lines every day. 329 00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:11,530 Gold whenever you want, you lucky bugger. 330 00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:12,590 -Yes, aren't I? 331 00:17:12,590 --> 00:17:13,580 -See you. 332 00:17:13,580 --> 00:17:14,380 -Bye. 333 00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:51,270 -Argh! 334 00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:58,710 Ruby. 335 00:18:06,230 --> 00:18:07,460 -All done in there. 336 00:18:07,460 --> 00:18:08,790 -What do you look like? 337 00:18:25,770 --> 00:18:27,600 -How is Mr. Dobbs? 338 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:28,680 -Are you a relative? 339 00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:30,570 -I'm DCIP Bayfield. 340 00:18:30,570 --> 00:18:31,730 Is he gonna be OK? 341 00:18:31,730 --> 00:18:34,260 -Um, I don't know. 342 00:18:34,260 --> 00:18:35,250 Maybe. 343 00:18:35,250 --> 00:18:36,760 -Has he said anything? 344 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:39,360 -He mentioned something about a number plate. 345 00:18:43,350 --> 00:18:45,350 -Officer. 346 00:18:45,350 --> 00:18:48,280 Amanda Dobbs, his granddaughter. 347 00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:50,290 Just wondered if you'd made any progress. 348 00:18:50,290 --> 00:18:51,750 -Um, no. 349 00:18:51,750 --> 00:18:52,890 Nothing as yet. 350 00:18:52,890 --> 00:18:54,010 -Broken pelvis. 351 00:18:54,010 --> 00:18:56,090 Three fractured ribs. 352 00:18:56,090 --> 00:18:57,980 Wouldn't treat a dog like that, would you? 353 00:18:57,980 --> 00:18:59,790 -No. 354 00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:02,900 No, it's-- it's pretty despicable. 355 00:19:02,900 --> 00:19:04,340 -Can I get your number? 356 00:19:04,340 --> 00:19:05,670 Someone to talk to. 357 00:19:05,670 --> 00:19:06,820 Mom's going spare. 358 00:19:06,820 --> 00:19:08,360 -Uh, just ring the main switchboard. 359 00:19:08,360 --> 00:19:09,360 They'll put you through. 360 00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:10,270 -We need information. 361 00:19:10,270 --> 00:19:11,070 I'm sorry. 362 00:19:22,100 --> 00:19:25,060 -Newton Green police station, please. 363 00:19:25,060 --> 00:19:26,430 No, just put me straight through. 364 00:19:31,230 --> 00:19:34,660 -I've got it. 365 00:19:34,660 --> 00:19:35,460 -Let's see. 366 00:19:37,620 --> 00:19:38,580 -The monarch's toenail. 367 00:19:41,990 --> 00:19:42,790 -Right. 368 00:19:42,790 --> 00:19:43,670 Hang on. 369 00:19:49,110 --> 00:19:54,740 -Richard's toenail, Isabel's hair, Eleanor's earwax, 370 00:19:54,740 --> 00:19:55,940 George's blunt. 371 00:19:55,940 --> 00:19:57,500 Four down. 372 00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:58,500 One to go. 373 00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:06,290 -How likely is it that Mr. Dobbs will 374 00:20:06,290 --> 00:20:08,000 be able to identify the car? 375 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,190 -It's a distinctive plate. 376 00:20:09,190 --> 00:20:11,660 -The one the king bought him for his 21st? 377 00:20:11,660 --> 00:20:13,300 -G210487. 378 00:20:13,300 --> 00:20:16,070 -Oh, great. 379 00:20:16,070 --> 00:20:17,630 -What else? 380 00:20:17,630 --> 00:20:20,370 -Um, the granddaughter, Amanda Dobbs, 381 00:20:20,370 --> 00:20:23,420 she overheard me tell the nurse my name. 382 00:20:23,420 --> 00:20:25,170 Well, she must've Googled me or something, 383 00:20:25,170 --> 00:20:26,840 because she rang the palace switchboard. 384 00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:27,990 -Oh, no, no, no, no. 385 00:20:27,990 --> 00:20:30,160 -Wanted to know what the king's PPO was doing asking 386 00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:32,130 questions about her grandfather. 387 00:20:32,130 --> 00:20:32,930 -Right. 388 00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:36,080 Peter. 389 00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:37,090 Stick with the victim. 390 00:20:37,090 --> 00:20:39,670 Anything changes, the local police situation develops, 391 00:20:39,670 --> 00:20:41,790 let me know ASAP. 392 00:20:41,790 --> 00:20:44,020 I'm assuming that Ray is still on site? 393 00:20:44,020 --> 00:20:44,820 -Absolutely. 394 00:20:44,820 --> 00:20:46,240 -We need to come up with something 395 00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:47,980 to explain your presence at the hospital. 396 00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:51,490 Something innocuous to put her off the scent. 397 00:20:51,490 --> 00:20:52,290 -Abby? 398 00:20:52,290 --> 00:20:57,030 -Um, yeah, fine, but can I just be sure we're all clear here. 399 00:20:57,030 --> 00:20:57,950 This is a hit and run. 400 00:20:57,950 --> 00:21:03,970 A man could die and, well, we're happy to cover that up? 401 00:21:03,970 --> 00:21:05,930 -Consider the alternative. 402 00:21:05,930 --> 00:21:06,920 We don't have a choice. 403 00:21:11,590 --> 00:21:14,910 -So Short just completely takes the piss out of him? 404 00:21:14,910 --> 00:21:15,710 -PM's an ass. 405 00:21:15,710 --> 00:21:18,610 Patronizing, condescending. 406 00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:19,410 -He's a politician. 407 00:21:19,410 --> 00:21:20,870 That's part of the job description. 408 00:21:20,870 --> 00:21:21,700 -Maybe. 409 00:21:21,700 --> 00:21:23,580 Or maybe he suspects the king has a point. 410 00:21:23,580 --> 00:21:24,380 -The king? 411 00:21:24,380 --> 00:21:26,690 What happened to tricky Dicky? 412 00:21:26,690 --> 00:21:28,410 -Enough about Dicky. 413 00:21:28,410 --> 00:21:32,100 I've just come from a crisis meeting about George. 414 00:21:32,100 --> 00:21:33,390 -Oh. 415 00:21:33,390 --> 00:21:35,310 Another great chapter for our book. 416 00:21:45,070 --> 00:21:46,280 -King Richard attacks PM. 417 00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:51,450 Well, I had no idea Mary Sterne had friends at the paper. 418 00:21:51,450 --> 00:21:53,870 As far as I was concerned, it was a private communication. 419 00:21:53,870 --> 00:21:56,880 -May I ask why you decided to change 420 00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:58,130 the letter of condolence, sir? 421 00:21:58,130 --> 00:22:00,000 I just, uh-- I thought she deserved 422 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:02,410 more than a box standard response. 423 00:22:02,410 --> 00:22:03,480 No offense, Abigail. 424 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:05,420 -Say, you have insulted the Prime Minister. 425 00:22:05,420 --> 00:22:07,120 -Well, that's your opinion. 426 00:22:07,120 --> 00:22:08,820 -It's the front page, its-- 427 00:22:08,820 --> 00:22:11,100 [RINGING] 428 00:22:11,100 --> 00:22:12,070 -Excuse me one second. 429 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:20,910 Hiya. MIRANDA (ON PHONE): Hey. 430 00:22:20,910 --> 00:22:22,040 Just a quick heads up. 431 00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:25,260 I'd back off this Mary Stone business if I were you. 432 00:22:25,260 --> 00:22:26,630 -Oh great, thanks for the advice. 433 00:22:26,630 --> 00:22:27,050 -Yeah. 434 00:22:27,050 --> 00:22:28,790 Daddy's pretty mad about it, and I don't need to tell you, 435 00:22:28,790 --> 00:22:30,750 this is not territory you should be in. 436 00:22:30,750 --> 00:22:31,810 -Do you think I have a point, then? 437 00:22:31,810 --> 00:22:33,180 MIRANDA (ON PHONE): So what? You're the King. 438 00:22:33,180 --> 00:22:35,060 -Out of interest, though. -Look, I've got to go. 439 00:22:35,060 --> 00:22:36,320 I've got a meeting wit the Prime Minister, 440 00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:38,240 the man I work for, I'll call you later. 441 00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:39,040 -Miranda-- 442 00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:49,630 -Sorry. 443 00:22:49,630 --> 00:22:50,880 Sorry, carry on. 444 00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:53,920 -Sir, I'm sure it wasn't your intention to insult the PM, 445 00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:55,420 but the way they've spun it-- you're 446 00:22:55,420 --> 00:22:57,950 attacking his defense cuts and suggesting that he's not taking 447 00:22:57,950 --> 00:22:59,240 the problems they're closing seriously. 448 00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:00,490 -Well, I've stated facts. -Sir. 449 00:23:00,490 --> 00:23:02,210 RICH: Mary Stone has lost her husband, 450 00:23:02,210 --> 00:23:05,190 her kids have lost a father. 451 00:23:05,190 --> 00:23:07,940 Now she needed my support, and I've given it. 452 00:23:07,940 --> 00:23:10,370 -I understand that, sir, and that's very admirable. 453 00:23:10,370 --> 00:23:11,880 RICH: Please, don't patronize me. 454 00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:14,680 -But what we are going to do now is to call the PM 455 00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:17,200 and explain how this was just a one off, 456 00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:19,890 and reassure him that we have no intention of interfering. 457 00:23:19,890 --> 00:23:21,540 -Interfering? 458 00:23:21,540 --> 00:23:23,460 -In politics. 459 00:23:23,460 --> 00:23:24,340 Never again, sir. 460 00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:30,700 -No. 461 00:23:30,700 --> 00:23:33,360 Should I tell you what we're going to do now? 462 00:23:33,360 --> 00:23:34,570 We're going to invite her in. 463 00:23:34,570 --> 00:23:35,640 -Invite who in? 464 00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:37,060 -Mary stone. 465 00:23:37,060 --> 00:23:38,080 Get her over. 466 00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:38,880 Tea. 467 00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:42,710 -Sir, that will be seen as extremely provocative. 468 00:23:42,710 --> 00:23:45,720 RICH: I'm off for a swim. 469 00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:47,940 -I'm sensing that the more we tell him not to-- 470 00:24:03,170 --> 00:24:05,740 -Well, that's still standing then. 471 00:24:05,740 --> 00:24:09,040 -Welcome back, Your Majesty. 472 00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:10,880 How was [INAUDIBLE]? 473 00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:13,670 -Lovely, thank you. 474 00:24:13,670 --> 00:24:16,120 Tell me, Kovindar, how are they all? 475 00:24:16,120 --> 00:24:18,660 Still talking to one another? 476 00:24:18,660 --> 00:24:19,550 -Just about, ma'am. 477 00:24:26,550 --> 00:24:27,880 -Hello, Jeremy. 478 00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:28,710 Good break? 479 00:24:28,710 --> 00:24:30,020 -In Norfolk? 480 00:24:30,020 --> 00:24:31,090 Please. 481 00:24:31,090 --> 00:24:33,410 -Pleased to be back, then. 482 00:24:33,410 --> 00:24:35,960 -God, I need a stiff one. 483 00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:38,170 Or at the very least, a drink. 484 00:24:38,170 --> 00:24:39,980 That drive has done me in. 485 00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:43,280 Cases? 486 00:25:02,220 --> 00:25:04,910 -Am I being a totally idiot here? 487 00:25:04,910 --> 00:25:06,300 It's all business. 488 00:25:06,300 --> 00:25:07,170 To be honest. 489 00:25:07,170 --> 00:25:10,330 -An idiot, a liability, a pain in the butt, sire. 490 00:25:10,330 --> 00:25:13,350 -Not that honest. 491 00:25:13,350 --> 00:25:14,770 -If I were you, I think I might be 492 00:25:14,770 --> 00:25:17,520 behaving in exactly the same way. 493 00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:18,320 -Thanks. 494 00:25:20,970 --> 00:25:22,700 Mrs. Stone, how nice to meet you. 495 00:25:22,700 --> 00:25:23,740 -How nice to meet you. 496 00:25:23,740 --> 00:25:27,250 -Thanks for coming, do go on through I 497 00:25:27,250 --> 00:25:29,030 hope you didn't have too much a journey. 498 00:25:29,030 --> 00:25:30,660 Please, do sit down. 499 00:25:30,660 --> 00:25:31,460 I really was-- 500 00:25:35,050 --> 00:25:37,800 -His Majesty expressed his condolences. 501 00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:39,440 He is very kind. 502 00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:40,800 He is a great listener. 503 00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:41,850 -That's not so bad. 504 00:25:41,850 --> 00:25:45,090 -He also is very concerned about the level 505 00:25:45,090 --> 00:25:46,260 of government funding. 506 00:25:46,260 --> 00:25:47,060 -Oh no. 507 00:25:47,060 --> 00:25:50,100 -He believes our troops should be treated with the same 508 00:25:50,100 --> 00:25:51,610 level of loyalty and respect as-- 509 00:25:51,610 --> 00:25:52,410 -Yes? 510 00:25:52,410 --> 00:25:53,730 Prime Minister. 511 00:25:53,730 --> 00:25:55,620 Yes. 512 00:25:55,620 --> 00:25:56,450 Well, pop over. 513 00:25:56,450 --> 00:25:58,810 We'd love to see you. 514 00:25:58,810 --> 00:26:00,890 -We're delighted His Majesty is taking an interest 515 00:26:00,890 --> 00:26:04,110 in these matters, but there's now a danger 516 00:26:04,110 --> 00:26:06,750 that he's abusing his constitutional powers. 517 00:26:06,750 --> 00:26:07,890 -I can assure you His Maj-- 518 00:26:07,890 --> 00:26:11,460 -And if that happens, if things start to get out of shape, 519 00:26:11,460 --> 00:26:17,710 then-- Well, then it all ends up very messy. 520 00:26:17,710 --> 00:26:21,430 -He really does need to keep quiet now, Ian. 521 00:26:21,430 --> 00:26:22,800 For the sake of the nation. 522 00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:24,190 -For the sake of the nation. 523 00:26:24,190 --> 00:26:24,990 Hm. 524 00:26:24,990 --> 00:26:25,980 I see. 525 00:26:28,300 --> 00:26:29,690 -All right. Bottom line, Ian. 526 00:26:29,690 --> 00:26:30,520 Can you shut him up? 527 00:26:32,650 --> 00:26:33,450 -Mrs. Hill. 528 00:26:33,450 --> 00:26:35,780 His Majesty the king does not shut up. 529 00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:41,440 -OK. 530 00:26:49,170 --> 00:26:50,350 -Well, I won't be quiet. 531 00:26:50,350 --> 00:26:51,920 I won't shut up, so. 532 00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:53,350 I'm not gonna just roll over. 533 00:26:53,350 --> 00:26:56,710 In fact, she's invited me to her husband's old barracks 534 00:26:56,710 --> 00:26:58,710 next month, and I'm seriously thinking of going. 535 00:26:58,710 --> 00:27:00,580 -That's a really bad idea, sir. 536 00:27:00,580 --> 00:27:01,380 -Oh, is it? 537 00:27:01,380 --> 00:27:02,960 -They would see that as you deliberately 538 00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:04,560 picking a fight, sir. -Well, fine. 539 00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:04,950 Let them. 540 00:27:04,950 --> 00:27:05,910 What are they gonna do? 541 00:27:05,910 --> 00:27:09,020 -Do we really want to go down that road, sir? 542 00:27:09,020 --> 00:27:10,060 Open confrontation? 543 00:27:10,060 --> 00:27:11,390 -I have a chance to change-- 544 00:27:11,390 --> 00:27:12,220 -Yes, but sir-- 545 00:27:12,220 --> 00:27:13,820 -Please let me finish. 546 00:27:13,820 --> 00:27:16,210 To genuinely make a difference instead of just waving 547 00:27:16,210 --> 00:27:19,820 and smiling, waving and smiling. 548 00:27:19,820 --> 00:27:21,460 We could all change stuff. 549 00:27:28,650 --> 00:27:30,910 -Well, he obviously knows he can't do this. 550 00:27:30,910 --> 00:27:32,530 What the hell has got into him? 551 00:27:38,090 --> 00:27:38,890 -Neil. 552 00:27:43,250 --> 00:27:44,290 This Mary Stone business. 553 00:27:44,290 --> 00:27:45,630 Why's he doing it? 554 00:27:45,630 --> 00:27:46,970 Why's he taking it so far? 555 00:27:46,970 --> 00:27:47,950 What's winding him up? 556 00:27:47,950 --> 00:27:48,870 -You don't wanna know. 557 00:27:48,870 --> 00:27:50,650 -I need to know. 558 00:27:50,650 --> 00:27:51,960 For his sake. 559 00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:54,960 He could get himself into a lot of trouble. 560 00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:57,120 -I'll do this once, then we're quits. 561 00:27:57,120 --> 00:27:57,920 -Deal. 562 00:28:00,900 --> 00:28:01,750 -The girlfriend. 563 00:28:01,750 --> 00:28:02,550 -What? 564 00:28:02,550 --> 00:28:03,670 She's still seeing her? 565 00:28:03,670 --> 00:28:04,650 -And what? 566 00:28:04,650 --> 00:28:06,460 She's encouraging him to do this? 567 00:28:06,460 --> 00:28:07,260 -No. 568 00:28:07,260 --> 00:28:10,000 The opposite, I think. 569 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:11,790 -I'm lost. 570 00:28:11,790 --> 00:28:13,980 -The girlfriend. 571 00:28:13,980 --> 00:28:15,230 It's Miranda Hill. 572 00:28:20,180 --> 00:28:21,870 -No. 573 00:28:21,870 --> 00:28:22,670 -Yeah. 574 00:28:22,670 --> 00:28:24,930 -Miranda Hill, Miranda Hill? 575 00:28:24,930 --> 00:28:26,310 -Miranda Hill. 576 00:28:26,310 --> 00:28:29,560 -Oh, Jesus. 577 00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:31,690 What the bloody hell'd you tell me that for? 578 00:28:36,430 --> 00:28:37,230 -That's Mummy's 579 00:28:37,230 --> 00:28:39,240 -You what? 580 00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:40,640 -It's her favorite. 581 00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:42,310 Use another. 582 00:28:42,310 --> 00:28:45,170 [SCREAMING] 583 00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:48,100 -Nice [INAUDIBLE]. 584 00:28:48,100 --> 00:28:49,970 Great ball. 585 00:28:49,970 --> 00:28:51,690 Nice ball. 586 00:28:51,690 --> 00:28:53,160 Nice area. 587 00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:53,980 Good bowling. 588 00:28:56,230 --> 00:28:58,220 Getting a bit rusty there, mate. Legwork's all over the place. 589 00:28:58,220 --> 00:28:59,060 -Yeah, out of practice. 590 00:28:59,060 --> 00:29:00,390 When was the last time I played? 591 00:29:00,390 --> 00:29:02,050 -Roddy 21st? 592 00:29:02,050 --> 00:29:03,280 -No, was it? 593 00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:05,060 -When else? -That's over a year ago. 594 00:29:05,060 --> 00:29:05,960 -Yep. 595 00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:08,200 -Hey, man, what's the name of that girl at Roddy's? 596 00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:09,290 -Ooh. 597 00:29:09,290 --> 00:29:10,090 Gerty. 598 00:29:10,090 --> 00:29:11,050 -Yeah. 599 00:29:11,050 --> 00:29:11,850 -Flirty Gerty. 600 00:29:11,850 --> 00:29:14,320 -Yeah, she smelled like a guppy. 601 00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:16,860 Just sort of clamped her mouth on it and stayed there. 602 00:29:16,860 --> 00:29:18,690 -Didn't one of your PPOs have to remove her? 603 00:29:18,690 --> 00:29:22,250 -Yeah, it took three of them in the end. 604 00:29:22,250 --> 00:29:23,150 How is old Roddy? 605 00:29:23,150 --> 00:29:24,800 You were there the other night? 606 00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:27,540 -Yeah, he's good. 607 00:29:27,540 --> 00:29:29,180 -We should meet up. 608 00:29:29,180 --> 00:29:31,020 -Heh. 609 00:29:31,020 --> 00:29:32,410 -What? 610 00:29:32,410 --> 00:29:33,210 -Nothing. 611 00:29:33,210 --> 00:29:34,290 -What? 612 00:29:34,290 --> 00:29:37,910 -I just-- I don't know why you even bother saying it? 613 00:29:37,910 --> 00:29:39,470 -Saying what? -That we should meet up. 614 00:29:39,470 --> 00:29:41,050 I mean, you always say it, and it never happens, 615 00:29:41,050 --> 00:29:42,930 so, you know, just don't even bother saying it. 616 00:29:42,930 --> 00:29:44,790 -Well, things are busy, mate. -Yeah, I know. 617 00:29:44,790 --> 00:29:44,870 -Well, things are busy, mate. -Yeah, I know. I know. 618 00:29:44,870 --> 00:29:45,590 I know. 619 00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:48,920 Sorry. 620 00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:53,590 I'm-- I'm knackered. 621 00:29:53,590 --> 00:29:55,220 Heavy day. 622 00:29:55,220 --> 00:29:56,260 -Yeah, tell me about it. 623 00:29:58,760 --> 00:29:59,560 -Yeah, fair enough. 624 00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:06,320 Listen. 625 00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:08,560 I'm gonna crash. 626 00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:10,850 -All right. 627 00:30:10,850 --> 00:30:13,830 -But, uh, that was a laugh. 628 00:30:13,830 --> 00:30:15,120 We should do it again sometime. 629 00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:16,710 -We will. 630 00:30:16,710 --> 00:30:17,510 -Night. 631 00:30:17,510 --> 00:30:18,310 -Night, George. 632 00:30:20,990 --> 00:30:21,790 George. 633 00:30:25,790 --> 00:30:26,920 You OK? 634 00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:30,670 Are we, you know, OK? 635 00:30:30,670 --> 00:30:32,960 -Never better, bro. 636 00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:35,360 Never better. 637 00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:36,660 Night. 638 00:30:36,660 --> 00:30:37,460 -Yeah. 639 00:30:46,290 --> 00:30:48,380 -Even on informal visits, Mr. Hobbs, 640 00:30:48,380 --> 00:30:51,110 our personal protection officers will still do a security sweep. 641 00:30:51,110 --> 00:30:53,360 Now, for obvious reasons, we don't publicize the fact, 642 00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:55,940 but also because it would spoil the surprise for the patients. 643 00:30:55,940 --> 00:30:57,790 But listen, thank you so much for your call. 644 00:30:57,790 --> 00:31:00,500 And if the visit does go ahead, maybe you and your grandfather 645 00:31:00,500 --> 00:31:01,300 would like to meet the king. 646 00:31:01,300 --> 00:31:02,190 WOMAN (ON PHONE): Oh you're kidding me! 647 00:31:02,190 --> 00:31:03,110 That would be amazing! 648 00:31:03,110 --> 00:31:06,140 -Yeah, well-- Well, it's not confirmed yet. 649 00:31:06,140 --> 00:31:08,110 And, as I say, if it does go ahead, 650 00:31:08,110 --> 00:31:10,030 you'll be the first person I call. 651 00:31:10,030 --> 00:31:11,010 OK. 652 00:31:11,010 --> 00:31:13,470 Bye now. 653 00:31:13,470 --> 00:31:16,420 -Hi. 654 00:31:16,420 --> 00:31:17,400 Thank you. 655 00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:21,640 -Mm. 656 00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:22,440 Rough day? 657 00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:23,240 -Mm. 658 00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:24,120 You don't wanna know. 659 00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:25,720 -Oh, come on, spill the beans. 660 00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:26,540 Maybe I can help. 661 00:31:26,540 --> 00:31:27,340 -Yeah, really. 662 00:31:29,850 --> 00:31:31,900 -So, listen, have you heard about George? 663 00:31:31,900 --> 00:31:32,700 -George? 664 00:31:32,700 --> 00:31:33,540 No, what's up? 665 00:31:33,540 --> 00:31:35,830 -Apparently he'd been worrying about some kind of rock. 666 00:31:35,830 --> 00:31:37,350 Major tantrums all around. 667 00:31:37,350 --> 00:31:40,250 First he's leaning to his arm, and then it's off. 668 00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:43,830 Then it's on again. 669 00:31:46,830 --> 00:31:49,290 Ray's been a real dick by all accounts, which is a shame 670 00:31:49,290 --> 00:31:51,140 because he's asked me to one of his references and, um-- 671 00:31:51,140 --> 00:31:52,040 ABIGAIL: Simon. 672 00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:54,170 Ray is a saint, trust me. 673 00:31:54,170 --> 00:31:55,310 -What? 674 00:31:55,310 --> 00:31:57,800 To put up with George? 675 00:31:57,800 --> 00:32:01,790 -You know, just once-- just once, 676 00:32:01,790 --> 00:32:03,330 it would be nice to think you're here 677 00:32:03,330 --> 00:32:06,130 because you enjoyed my company. 678 00:32:06,130 --> 00:32:06,940 -What? 679 00:32:06,940 --> 00:32:09,280 -I'll see you around. 680 00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:11,200 -Abby, come on-- Abby, what are talking about? 681 00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:12,000 Abby! 682 00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:28,400 Ray is the wrong party. 683 00:32:28,400 --> 00:32:29,590 Ray's our way in. 684 00:32:32,620 --> 00:32:36,320 -So I was in there way too long and Jeremy was looking over 685 00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:41,000 at me and I realized I already had it. 686 00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:43,820 -What? 687 00:32:43,820 --> 00:32:45,490 -The Queen's lips. 688 00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:57,210 -Vinny, you are a genius. 689 00:32:57,210 --> 00:33:00,850 -Yeah, I know. 690 00:33:00,850 --> 00:33:04,030 -I'm watching you, Kovindar. 691 00:33:04,030 --> 00:33:06,490 Naughty boy. 692 00:33:06,490 --> 00:33:09,720 I wouldn't trust you as far as I could throw you. 693 00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:10,770 -Oh, please. 694 00:33:10,770 --> 00:33:13,040 The only thing she's ever thrown is a hissy fit. 695 00:33:16,750 --> 00:33:18,180 -Did you say something? 696 00:33:21,150 --> 00:33:23,320 -Nada, Jeremy. 697 00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:24,120 Nada. 698 00:33:41,020 --> 00:33:41,820 -Evening, gents. 699 00:33:41,820 --> 00:33:42,140 -Ma'am. 700 00:33:42,140 --> 00:33:42,940 -Oh, stop it. 701 00:33:42,940 --> 00:33:44,990 It's only me. 702 00:33:44,990 --> 00:33:46,370 Oh God, I love this one. 703 00:33:46,370 --> 00:33:48,810 This is the sequel, isn't it? 704 00:33:48,810 --> 00:33:49,610 Classic. 705 00:33:49,610 --> 00:33:53,600 Uh, Ray, could I borrow you for 10 seconds? 706 00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:54,590 Thank you. 707 00:34:00,510 --> 00:34:04,030 Ray, I wanted to say goodbye, really. 708 00:34:04,030 --> 00:34:05,620 -Oh, ma'am. 709 00:34:05,620 --> 00:34:06,590 -It's nothing fancy. 710 00:34:06,590 --> 00:34:08,550 -Thank you so much. 711 00:34:08,550 --> 00:34:09,350 -Well open it. 712 00:34:09,350 --> 00:34:10,150 Go on. 713 00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:17,790 -To Ray, a true friend. 714 00:34:17,790 --> 00:34:19,680 With love, Eleanor. 715 00:34:19,680 --> 00:34:22,220 -Very important to me that you realize how much we appreciate 716 00:34:22,220 --> 00:34:23,820 the years of service you've given us. 717 00:34:23,820 --> 00:34:24,710 -I do, ma'am. 718 00:34:24,710 --> 00:34:25,690 -Good. 719 00:34:25,690 --> 00:34:32,510 And, because I keep my ear to the ground, I hear things. 720 00:34:32,510 --> 00:34:35,230 I would hate for there to be any unfinished business for you 721 00:34:35,230 --> 00:34:37,760 here, Ray. 722 00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:41,010 So what I'm saying is is that I'm here, 723 00:34:41,010 --> 00:34:44,350 if you need me, to-- just to talk to, really. 724 00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:54,750 -Where is Mr. Hill tonight? 725 00:34:54,750 --> 00:34:55,690 -Another conference. 726 00:34:55,690 --> 00:34:58,230 This time it's Brussels. 727 00:34:58,230 --> 00:35:00,780 -So apparently, you asked Ian if he could make me shut up. 728 00:35:00,780 --> 00:35:01,300 -Yeah. 729 00:35:01,300 --> 00:35:02,720 Technically that was Teddy's line. 730 00:35:02,720 --> 00:35:04,550 I just said it. 731 00:35:04,550 --> 00:35:07,030 -So you listen to him, then. 732 00:35:07,030 --> 00:35:08,070 -Well, he pays my salary. 733 00:35:08,070 --> 00:35:08,870 -Yeah. 734 00:35:08,870 --> 00:35:10,220 Me you're just sleeping with. 735 00:35:10,220 --> 00:35:11,840 -Oh, grow up. 736 00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:12,900 -This is me growing up. 737 00:35:12,900 --> 00:35:14,860 This is me caring about the army. 738 00:35:14,860 --> 00:35:16,040 About-- About people. 739 00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:25,130 -Look. 740 00:35:25,130 --> 00:35:28,340 We all care, Rich. 741 00:35:28,340 --> 00:35:29,140 OK? 742 00:35:29,140 --> 00:35:29,750 We all care. 743 00:35:29,750 --> 00:35:30,550 -Yeah. 744 00:35:33,630 --> 00:35:37,550 So I suppose a shag's out of the question. 745 00:35:37,550 --> 00:35:40,440 -Well, I think we can safely say that George has screwed up. 746 00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:41,240 -Oh, George. 747 00:35:41,240 --> 00:35:43,140 -So now we're patient. 748 00:35:43,140 --> 00:35:45,280 We wait until the king is most vulnerable. 749 00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:47,880 And only then do you tell him about the accident. 750 00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:49,090 -He'll be needing my support. 751 00:35:49,090 --> 00:35:52,130 -You encourage him to do the only sensible thing he can. 752 00:35:52,130 --> 00:35:54,050 Cover this up for the sake of the monarchy. 753 00:35:54,050 --> 00:35:54,860 -Oh, I love this. 754 00:35:54,860 --> 00:35:57,100 It's like one of your military operations. 755 00:35:57,100 --> 00:36:01,130 -And when he's done that, when he's got his hands dirty, 756 00:36:01,130 --> 00:36:03,280 when we've got them both, that's when 757 00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:06,070 we leak how naughty little brothers have been. 758 00:36:06,070 --> 00:36:07,240 -Who knows? 759 00:36:07,240 --> 00:36:10,010 With a fair wind and a bit of luck. 760 00:36:10,010 --> 00:36:11,660 Cheesy Wotsit? 761 00:36:11,660 --> 00:36:13,530 REPORTER (ON TV): Trouble in parliament today 762 00:36:13,530 --> 00:36:15,660 for King Richard following the publication of a set 763 00:36:15,660 --> 00:36:18,390 of photographs taken whilst at Sandhurst. 764 00:36:18,390 --> 00:36:20,470 Terry Cheedle, MP for Saltingham West, 765 00:36:20,470 --> 00:36:22,730 suggests that King Richard showed a great contempt 766 00:36:22,730 --> 00:36:26,070 for the military with his disrespectful behavior. 767 00:36:26,070 --> 00:36:28,830 -Well, that was taken a year before I joined Sandhurst. 768 00:36:28,830 --> 00:36:29,890 -Yes, sir. 769 00:36:29,890 --> 00:36:31,400 You are aware that this will have 770 00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:33,190 come from Downing Street, sir? 771 00:36:33,190 --> 00:36:34,530 -What? This came from his? 772 00:36:34,530 --> 00:36:35,530 Office 773 00:36:35,530 --> 00:36:37,730 -Yes, sir. 774 00:36:37,730 --> 00:36:38,720 -From his press office? 775 00:36:38,720 --> 00:36:39,630 -Yeah. 776 00:36:39,630 --> 00:36:41,720 Miranda. 777 00:36:41,720 --> 00:36:43,330 Or one of her team. 778 00:36:43,330 --> 00:36:47,030 They would have sourced the photo, leaked it. 779 00:36:47,030 --> 00:36:49,330 Smart move, given the position the family serves in. 780 00:36:49,330 --> 00:36:50,130 -The MP. 781 00:36:50,130 --> 00:36:52,380 That thing he said about me not caring about the army. 782 00:36:52,380 --> 00:36:55,210 -They'd have briefed him to say that. 783 00:36:55,210 --> 00:36:57,560 This will die very quickly if I call Downing Street 784 00:36:57,560 --> 00:36:59,890 and let them know we won't be making anymore statements. 785 00:37:06,690 --> 00:37:07,490 Sir? 786 00:37:13,220 --> 00:37:14,020 -Yeah. 787 00:37:14,020 --> 00:37:17,060 Do whatever you can. 788 00:37:17,060 --> 00:37:18,040 -Yes, sir. 789 00:37:24,210 --> 00:37:25,010 -It's time. 790 00:37:32,910 --> 00:37:34,450 MIRANDA (ON PHONE): Hi, it's Miranda. 791 00:37:34,450 --> 00:37:35,940 Sorry I can't take your call. 792 00:37:35,940 --> 00:37:36,900 Please leave a message. 793 00:37:36,900 --> 00:37:39,520 -Nice work, really. 794 00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:41,130 We all care, Rich. 795 00:37:41,130 --> 00:37:42,000 We all care. 796 00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:44,470 Yeah, right. 797 00:37:44,470 --> 00:37:46,150 You sleep well tonight, Miranda. 798 00:37:56,220 --> 00:37:57,020 -Hey. 799 00:38:02,340 --> 00:38:04,070 If it's any consolation, I think people 800 00:38:04,070 --> 00:38:05,240 know the press are bastards. 801 00:38:05,240 --> 00:38:06,650 They won't believe a word of it. 802 00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:10,080 -Really? 803 00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:11,300 -Yeah. 804 00:38:11,300 --> 00:38:13,910 They know you're doing your best. 805 00:38:13,910 --> 00:38:14,710 -Thanks. 806 00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:21,280 -Rich. 807 00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:22,080 -Yeah. 808 00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:24,940 -I'm aware you need more hassle right now like you need a hole 809 00:38:24,940 --> 00:38:29,070 in the head, but there's something you should know. 810 00:38:29,070 --> 00:38:29,870 About George. 811 00:38:33,660 --> 00:38:35,080 [KNOCKING] 812 00:38:36,510 --> 00:38:37,930 -Hi. 813 00:38:37,930 --> 00:38:39,480 -Hey. 814 00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:41,220 -Listen, Abby, I just wanted to say, um-- 815 00:38:41,220 --> 00:38:42,020 -What? 816 00:38:42,020 --> 00:38:44,140 -Well, that I'm sorry about yesterday. 817 00:38:44,140 --> 00:38:45,440 -Oh, don't worry about it. 818 00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:47,620 You were just doing your job. 819 00:38:47,620 --> 00:38:49,690 Weedling, conniving, cajoling. 820 00:38:49,690 --> 00:38:51,020 It's just business. 821 00:38:51,020 --> 00:38:51,820 -Hang on, hang on. 822 00:38:51,820 --> 00:38:53,340 Hang on, love. 823 00:38:53,340 --> 00:38:54,860 It's more than that. 824 00:38:54,860 --> 00:38:55,660 Abby. 825 00:38:58,710 --> 00:39:00,320 I like you. 826 00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:01,470 -Do you? 827 00:39:01,470 --> 00:39:03,340 -Yes, I do. 828 00:39:03,340 --> 00:39:08,570 I mean I really, really like you. 829 00:39:17,290 --> 00:39:20,240 -What the hell do you think you're doing? 830 00:39:20,240 --> 00:39:21,040 No. 831 00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:22,800 I said what do you think you are doing. 832 00:39:27,020 --> 00:39:28,550 -I-- Nothing. 833 00:39:28,550 --> 00:39:29,730 I'm sorry if I got it wrong. 834 00:39:29,730 --> 00:39:31,370 -Yeah, you did get it wrong, mate. 835 00:39:31,370 --> 00:39:32,170 Very. 836 00:39:32,170 --> 00:39:34,720 How-- How dare you assault me? 837 00:39:34,720 --> 00:39:36,840 -Assa-- Assault you? 838 00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:41,810 Abby, I-- I-- I di-- I-- Mm. 839 00:39:54,590 --> 00:39:55,960 -There. 840 00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:57,350 See? 841 00:39:57,350 --> 00:39:58,150 How do you like it? 842 00:40:05,130 --> 00:40:06,850 -A lot. 843 00:40:06,850 --> 00:40:08,670 A lot! 844 00:40:08,670 --> 00:40:10,640 -And I would so be interested in a swap. 845 00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:13,350 I've got a huge collection of Madonna memorabilia. 846 00:40:13,350 --> 00:40:15,020 Boring. 847 00:40:15,020 --> 00:40:16,690 -I love your royal collection. 848 00:40:16,690 --> 00:40:18,600 Fancy swapping them for signed pics 849 00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:20,990 of Rudolf Nureyev and Margot Fonteyn. 850 00:40:20,990 --> 00:40:22,420 -Who? 851 00:40:22,420 --> 00:40:24,580 -Um, Sinatra. 852 00:40:24,580 --> 00:40:25,930 Nope. 853 00:40:25,930 --> 00:40:27,300 England World Cup team. 854 00:40:27,300 --> 00:40:28,610 -No. 855 00:40:28,610 --> 00:40:29,580 -Hi, Freaks. 856 00:40:29,580 --> 00:40:31,120 How about swapping with me. 857 00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:33,660 I've got a large collection of Manic Street Preacher 858 00:40:33,660 --> 00:40:38,170 memorabilia, and I could do two cigarette butts authenticated 859 00:40:38,170 --> 00:40:40,600 as having been taken from the car of Richie Edwards. 860 00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:41,690 -What? The Richie Edwards? 861 00:40:41,690 --> 00:40:43,310 -From the car of Richie Edwards that 862 00:40:43,310 --> 00:40:46,850 was left at the Seven Bridge carpark prior to his suicide. 863 00:40:46,850 --> 00:40:48,370 -His actual butts? 864 00:40:48,370 --> 00:40:51,380 The actual ones that were actually in his mouth? 865 00:40:51,380 --> 00:40:54,120 -And all they want are some old toe clippings. 866 00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:56,860 -Oh my god. 867 00:40:56,860 --> 00:40:57,860 -What a bunch of losers. 868 00:41:08,710 --> 00:41:10,200 [KNOCKING] 869 00:41:15,500 --> 00:41:16,710 -What the hell have you done? 870 00:41:28,060 --> 00:41:28,860 -Miranda. 871 00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:40,180 -I know you know, Jaunty. 872 00:41:40,180 --> 00:41:41,440 Neil rang me, so. 873 00:41:41,440 --> 00:41:43,060 -What did you want? 874 00:41:43,060 --> 00:41:44,460 -Can you get me in to see him? 875 00:41:44,460 --> 00:41:45,260 -No. 876 00:41:45,260 --> 00:41:48,230 And you're taking a real risk by coming here unannounced. 877 00:41:48,230 --> 00:41:49,480 My advice, go home. 878 00:41:49,480 --> 00:41:50,870 -I need to speak to him. 879 00:41:50,870 --> 00:41:53,660 -Well, I don't imagine he's too keen to speak to you. 880 00:41:53,660 --> 00:41:55,430 -I was just doing my job. 881 00:41:55,430 --> 00:41:56,230 -Right. 882 00:41:56,230 --> 00:41:57,390 -Oh, come on, Jaunty. 883 00:41:57,390 --> 00:41:59,980 -Miranda, what is this to you? 884 00:41:59,980 --> 00:42:02,180 I mean, Jesus. 885 00:42:02,180 --> 00:42:04,000 I'm not sure that messy does it. 886 00:42:09,140 --> 00:42:11,000 Go home to your husband. 887 00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:14,470 Do yourself a favor and forget about the king. 888 00:42:21,170 --> 00:42:22,920 -I mean, we had a beer for Christ's sakes. 889 00:42:22,920 --> 00:42:25,680 We had a beer, and I actually asked you if everything was OK. 890 00:42:25,680 --> 00:42:26,480 Oh, yeah, Rich. 891 00:42:26,480 --> 00:42:27,450 No, never better, mate. 892 00:42:27,450 --> 00:42:29,030 Never better. 893 00:42:29,030 --> 00:42:30,270 And you told Pete Bayfield. 894 00:42:30,270 --> 00:42:31,930 You can tell Pete Bayfield and not me? 895 00:42:31,930 --> 00:42:33,690 How the hell does that work? -Bloody hell, Rich. 896 00:42:33,690 --> 00:42:35,440 What are you more pissed off about? 897 00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:38,700 What I did or that I didn't tell you? 898 00:42:38,700 --> 00:42:39,770 -What you did, of course. 899 00:42:39,770 --> 00:42:42,440 -For which I'm truly sorry. 900 00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:46,820 What I did was stupid and crap. 901 00:42:46,820 --> 00:42:49,180 And I panicked. 902 00:42:49,180 --> 00:42:49,980 -Yeah. 903 00:42:49,980 --> 00:42:52,440 -And I don't know what to do about it. 904 00:42:52,440 --> 00:43:02,000 And yes, I should have told you, but I just felt-- I don't know. 905 00:43:05,350 --> 00:43:06,620 I just felt I couldn't. 906 00:43:06,620 --> 00:43:07,460 -Why couldn't you? 907 00:43:07,460 --> 00:43:09,020 What do you mean you couldn't? 908 00:43:09,020 --> 00:43:09,820 You're mt brother. 909 00:43:09,820 --> 00:43:11,310 -And you're the king. 910 00:43:11,310 --> 00:43:13,230 Things have changed, Rich. 911 00:43:13,230 --> 00:43:14,970 Yeah, like it or not, they've changed. 912 00:43:14,970 --> 00:43:16,300 -They haven't changed that much. 913 00:43:16,300 --> 00:43:17,880 -Haven't they? 914 00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:20,790 So who decides what happens now? 915 00:43:20,790 --> 00:43:22,110 Who decides what happens to me? 916 00:43:29,620 --> 00:43:30,840 That's why I didn't tell you. 917 00:43:33,570 --> 00:43:35,650 Because I didn't want to put you in that position. 918 00:43:43,150 --> 00:43:46,400 -I don't see why it's such a big deal. 919 00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:47,800 Well, it was an accident. 920 00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:49,610 George hasn't killed anyone. 921 00:43:49,610 --> 00:43:51,420 -Not yet. 922 00:43:51,420 --> 00:43:53,870 -Well, you would never do anything to hurt him, 923 00:43:53,870 --> 00:43:55,110 would you? 924 00:43:55,110 --> 00:43:58,110 So George can stop worrying. 925 00:43:58,110 --> 00:43:59,850 Rich will protect you. 926 00:43:59,850 --> 00:44:00,650 Won't you? 927 00:44:08,750 --> 00:44:11,800 [THEME MUSIC]